Thursday, 05.18.17 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

Thursday, May 18th

  • 0:00 - Headlines
    • Roger Ailes and Chris Cornell have died
    • Trump upset about investigation
  • 12:39 - McDonald's ad has Lazlo questioning the number of kids he has
  • 18:47 - Baseball player apologizes for homophobic slur
  • 23:40 - Whatcha Listening To
    • Lazlo: Texas Is The Reason - There's No Way
    • Slimfast: Vampire Weekend - Ottoman
    • Lazlo: Lou Reed - NYC Man
    • Slimfast: DCFC - Cath
    • Snowcone: The Strokes - New York City Cops
  • 46:09 - The guys try and figure out their last words

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

The righteous. Your homeland. Well if you are. I would just sitting on started hot shot your I think I'm ready. Expenses to. Alonso in the news. Just down. You can see it. Are you. I mean. Wrong. Sounds like he was. Good man I'm still losing your idol and in stressing you know I really enjoy your China's current I don't know I didn't. On furniture last night still don't want women so we did go in June and took generalize and when you know the name and new rules on them so we did it did he was like Parcells. After all that talk. Cancer. The bottom Bennett jazz pricey got the furniture moved in from some of Coca. I'm getting there but you don't have a look at man divorces are easy yeah being single is hard yeah. He shows then yeah. It's figuring out what to do after a run. Let you know anytime I move I'm good I just don't have anything. And I think you meant my houses site you've seen the the master bedroom is just into how it's time for your honest indeed. It's time you're around spinning eight months nine months there's nothing I master bedroom go to it's. I'm my minimalist plot and a wedding quilts. And an ironing board that's it puzzles and Ayman minimalist so I don't like a lot of furniture yeah so that's good. Like man there's so come to your tired your help us play our problems girl probably are zeros as soon remember only Glenn. But I was like yeah girls yeah. Hillary what we listen to everything you know I was going to stumble at all analyze. Got to be kidding. Everything else is all right life. Sure like today I don't you just walked in here earlier ending I don't know flip manner shirt on when snow cone and look to me sort of laughed and said. C'mon man Clinton doesn't match. And I got you jump to your series say a man hopes that I was like hold on a second unlike. I am a guy but I'm no social justice warrior. And certainly. It takes a lot for me to be moved day in and some people would even call me a sociopath. But children drinking forty's anybody else do the dirty water. That's city with a bad wow I think children and placing your point I was becoming I think the word is I don't know what it is anymore. Yeah. Man something divergent there's something diversion. Drink the water becoming something divergent social those roars you know I've got word I'm looking for I don't know it I know this series I don't know. And it comes from drinking led. Man these kids are yeah. They're losing IQ points as we speak now I'm not cool right. We never ready to begin with so we're doing. The whole movie you that you think it's some sort of turn I don't know you're not allowed to say is making an Emmy. Some there. Some thing all right there's some I'll cancers and Haiti and mentally and say another word Ryan I don't know I'm her like two or three times and we mean now you can't Wright say any thing is always going to be offense doesn't go I like term. Friends are all social workers and I think I might have made the mistake of saying our. They sound like Arizona and Arizona and emergent never but man might be diverse I don't couples. Non okay mental divergences. OK now let's just move along quickly to your gallery do we know we're talking about. We were through Georgia and noisier and emergent and divert. Obviously I was kidding about no you were you saying come and they don't matter as I said man of those kids are growing up with serious mental problems and those are from flood. Yeah OK I don't. He says that I'd never sound. This is horrifying not true. To be honest and us doesn't kind of thing you would say if I wore that teachers into the non. Username and I would say that it views and I know I feel like audacity nominee taillight out candidate to slow your roll nobody believes you. All right I'm wearing a flood matters future looks good and that's the city and it matters because there. Get dirty water and it's killing people got kids decades. Making them diversion serious. Yes we don't know exactly what I'm. Okay Brian Brian. I don't make tax I'll try to find sort of again you reduce and not users and headlines. I'm sure that they're big headlines in mean we were able to not start with. Trump news but its net you know people that. Cost of someone's life I guess sad news woke up this morning two people died one of them I was I think people were pretty upset about are a lot of us troops unless there's. We're not record how has just finished a sold out performance here in Detroit at fox theater and he then went back to his hotel room at the MGM Detroit. So little after midnight Cornell Weis called the band member. Asked him to do what checked on him. When he finds nowhere to strip the new aero doesn't know why he gets security security at the MGM get into the hotel room and that's what they find Cornell. Dead in his bathroom without band around his neck. It does appear that Cornell took his own life on autopsy will be scheduled probably today we're not sure of the time they try please tell me that they are still investigating this incident. That guys some radio guy from Detroit's. To get a big break days on national news segment and I just got an update a couple hours ago this and they have now said officially that it's suicide. Men you know yeah I got anything going to update from USA today is that what Hussein is no way he wasn't the right. Well let me see what this says here's says. This episode got it. Medical examiner dot December and singer Chris Cornell is ruled a suicide. 2001 o'clock. So he spent an afternoon in Kansas City and fly straight to Detroit and easy to swallow this pension. Blah da Matta troubled times and I'm not right. And then there was another death today as well. Roger Ailes and yet the man behind Fox News he doesn't yeah he doesn't. Buchanan Joseph Paterno style like it's weird like I just you know god everything's coming crashing down I'm old and I can't take it yeah for people who don't know he was ousted you know within the last year for Fox News for these sexual allegations. Different women who work to Fox News claiming that he you know held back their careers because they refused to. And offer sexual favors. And then he finally stepped down and maniac and a Paterno style and die he was 77 but this is Fox News breaking the announcement about a steps. Now miss Fox News alert Roger Ailes has passed away and you only know of him what you read in recent months when you didn't know him. But here's a man who almost single handedly built Fox News Channel from absolutely nothing. Into the most watched cable news operation and often deemed most watched channel and all cable. Not possible to pay tribute to his accomplishments in just a few words. The son of a blue collar worker Roger never forgot his Ohio roots even when he was there advising president. He was able to spot abilities in people and summoned from them their very best work. Thousands of us here at Fox News and Fox Business Network and other TV networks as well oh our careers to him if he had his fault we all do. Yes he had his faults the golden. Not all are here as bad as it's you know we've done a lot of that's for recent college ball's just. I like and don't really black and likely result is made mistakes I mean wasn't there is between you and Manson. We're all I'm Hyannis Vijay did he kill people. Whatever the case maybe we're not no longer in the I drink a little too much Ted Bundy did what he did and Rolf none of them that the I applaud them. He did well no it is dead no need to drag and I'll. And then Murdoch's the yeah Murdoch's alive. And of course trump thumb. You know they've they announced this this former. Headed the FBI to lead this independent investigation. And trumps not happy trounced in terms the systems angry trust and trust that boasts atrocities that comes in this will go on this week's time. President trump is calling the Justice Department's federal investigation and his campaign's potential. Russia which shocked some reacted to the DOJ is naming of ex FBI director Robert Mueller as a special counsel to believe investigation on Twitter Thursday. Said with all of the illegal acts that took place in the Clinton Campaign and Obama administration there was never special counsel appointed a Teddy go off former digital strategist for Hillary Clinton during her campaign pointed to the spelling here in the tweet writing he really has trouble with the word council plus some didn't go into detail about yeah. Illegal acts he referenced he did go on to write this is the single greatest switch son of a politician in American history. You know yesterday gave that speech he said no president has been treated worse they remain of course the Internet to struggling JFK was actually shot in the back. Notice Lincoln had a pretty rounds there's been some yells produced or I think Eugene about the tweets this morning as he says. With everything Hillary and Barack did illegal there were no special investigations and bush didn't play aside Hillary bill what did. Always very accused of doing that was illegal to blame from Kenya right that was it right Venus I don't and they must nowadays are and over and over again. That was the big it is and hey I'm just like him and his presidency was pretty much stand a single friend in trouble whatsoever. But what. That's mean how many lives and not a right but it just seems like a weird thing did. George exam on the remain in the bottom line is with this these these spell check now president. They've been looked into they looked into numerous times. How does he keep misspelling things on his Twitter first of all you'd think there'd be someone that says Mr. President we as well. Yeah counselor at council all right so but but he's had these problems in the past he deleted tweets three different times to see I'm no ground on loan more bullets I'll corps hammers yeah that's right I'm drawn strength comes out of my brand. You would think. People Lisa there and fastest time Palin alone it is to lose traction you'd think that they would have people who say all right you know we're I can say we can't you say let's just make sure like role. Got a spelling error here you go. There ego trumps being investigated by a desire and trump said some things return calls himself a victim of which time. Today he's getting ready to take his first big guys just love you why you addressed almighty god fresher look at him. This shirt was actually lane. On top Mike Pyle laundries and his third on Mike got up this morning it was kind of cool out. So popular on Ozal Chile some vast chilling. I don't believe there's something going on no control that's the reason this shirt has wrinkles around the iron and I admire anything I was chili sauce regularly consumer know. There is an interval you also bulletin instantly content now. Measures face lieutenant no I haven't and I don't I put on zinc dream because right now there isn't an implosion and it wouldn't know there's no main motion sensor. It's that one yet you do get by the way but I don't I'm not wearing it right now. Yeah. Okay. Pull that thing up I pulled it up I've got it used to miss it yeah how about I. You a couple of weeks ago you guys cried during commercials you're human being but I mean Jesus. No one was weeping in there all right well Arizona oh yeah Ukraine insane it's a good c'mon guys herb and you may wind having on our. You call indicates that an alcoholic insane and you're probably as fodder well I just proved it yeah. He said there's a better chance that you're that manned up and comer so oh yes no there's a chance on the kid's dad of course of they basically described me but the and I didn't say anything about the bad. I do want shut due in place and yes wanted to commercials it's from the old saying isn't fair for me though this is the instructor why does my situation so I was looking defended knows debt and I can still be touch vice problem. Yeah but I have more reason to make sure I'm there. But applauded a of course you can visit them this is a commercial that's running to in the UK. Could it. House thank. You make fun. The NASCAR fan. Always love you. Things are. So shiny could see things move so everything she's saying it's just Oregon describes me I don't know silent killer shoot game. My short game is top notch. Everyone comments on is socially about my shoe game being taught my time greats. Loves and everything that she mentions about the bad kid is just the opposite says that I shiny shoes he has dirty sneakers onto says you demonstrated soccer in this kid misses the. All interest exactly I also play soccer every Wednesday but sit in a given that if they implicitly corals are right now people are looking at me with a the look at me though like Palin. Maybe. That's not the point let's get through. He's going to. I count 2000. User right catch your dad I think it would she says using Katzman he's good with the. Why. Did you have new life like now I know now brown okay. Now this story I know what they have in common at the end of this commercial. Oh my god is real quick before laying it gives me answer. What do I order every time you go to McDonald's. You always get the plane touched. I like debt into this is exit the upper end of the court along they're sitting in McDonald's and easy to play offense I. Favorites. I don't I just does dad went to college and university in north wanted to move back to the United States I guess never say that doesn't. Sorry man just says he makes a mass do you have to tartar sauce on his face when exactly it was who lie and the commercial does start with a can opener of a box and picking up a watch which you lost your loss like bridge I want to go to us. I guess I could be your vantage point is man that's come on it plus. That's a good commercial. Mendes is a direct commercial there's nothing wrong with that thing. What do you mean there's other prominent I think it's five I saw an ridiculous I Don actually the kids bother. Yeah take that away take that away because they describe me to a team. Take that away. Meant. I'm supposed to believe that those kids dead die. And somehow. Well I supposed to make me wanna filet of fish. I don't like we play in my heart strings a little too much. Well I mean they said that they've withdrawn the advertisement because people really like you yeah. He's trying to make you know they say if I know it's and here's where they say after strong protest the fast food behemoth withdrew an advertisement featuring teenage boy trying to make sense of who is dead father was and how he related to him which features. Well I guess it's us what you mean the filet of fish. Don't. I don't think when talking to kids whose pans past two or one of defense does win this case being a father. We should be like everything will be all right because go to McDonald's gonna play official Jamal. It's gonna be all right to city found something some common ground I fishermen I saw an ounce rides with their advertising. Life and I thought I was fine yes it's sappy but it's fine you guys disagree that I might as well and the feeling of its. Well all right well we'll do we really what whom when you're dead men got candor something that's the now I don't kicks on and then started on the phone to you know when you talk about your dad don't want very much you know and once national bring uniformity nor do you know brown earns a million known. No so today for his season was your personality seems accurate then no video always Wear me taming down tennis shoes are now he bought his own show I wasn't. You know I wasn't you know is that what you're saying is is that data appears in doubt but roof. I thought it was fine they pulled that they pulled the adverse. Because of people like you winning people like me and funny studies woman. I was finally gonna do my career I feel like you're accusing me of being a boy's father waving around how I never Q were you want to insult watching that commercial I said wanted to talk America is I'm sorry to get nervous yeah I think when it owls that kid went and I go to Conning us and the star important dates together. But it looks like he's fourteen or fifteen should not not great but I. What does all right so this again is the last night you may see it either until today as that day was snow cone. I thought that the epic. Mario her name is known to watch sports I'm guessing you probably wouldn't be tuning into the Toronto Atlanta game anyway I'm okay alright mine because I'm a man you might if it's on wow what my girl this. He doesn't like me being distracted by sports instead they kept seconds portal casings or any was very upset about man I was washing the royals game any concern you pay attention to me it's important that's why am I even here and I didn't know was tied. I asked myself senate. Charter professionals they don't ask those questions that leave little move in the professional girl or on both yes it's true ring girl with a solid I guess is from last night's game is a land and surround. And Kevin. Pull our that it saves and you know that guy is good. Blue jays have become like the bad boys of baseball or the other hand I mean I never really had much to do a good you know I love our country so nice and cool their brains are object your eyes America doubtless everyone's cause withdrawals so. What happens here is you get like the quick pitch from the Braves right I don't know who this guy is here but they're gonna say isn't this pitcher for the Braves apparently quick pitches. To bar employers unhappy. And he says something he smelled something in the picture clearly hear what he says gets angry and bench is clear. And then of course people start looking into the footage and watching the read reviews of the footage in slow motion to try and you know read Kevin's list. And it looks like he might be sane. Homophobic slur hey. Catcher Sears. Okay. All right so it looks like he's been a Jacqueline now have a place a secret to look like secret instrument is I mean that's what they said the story because obviously don't know why Hillary is obvious at all I mean it throws an obvious ball and then. Large swings at it and that's right but the story I read just said he may have been upset about the quick a quick pitch out and catcher it's. It's just takes time right. I guess that does I don't know that I'm I'm in a watch baseball what Johnny quite go to the court it's like you broke. Old Coleman even you write about them look like not to miss are always upset about other than maybe just embarrass these songs such a terrible pitch. But now here's the Internet doing their sleuthing and and zooming in on cannon's mouth to try clearly says. You've got to see it. There was okay so again all right so watch one more time. And think I'm still can't I don't know if so people are saying Irsay said that says only just again slurred BI port and airport next seems like. According to this news story it seems like Kevin has admitted that that's what he said listen to this very Canadian news broadcast. Covering the good drama. In a fetal center fielder Kevin Millar apologizing for an outburst during the jays game last night it appears he shouted out homophobic slur after pitcher for Atlanta. I happen in the seventh inning. Florida played decent. Now seem out of his team down into three Florida. Straits and swinging. And he yells what appears to be a homophobic slurs in the pitcher's direction soon after the Ben choose one clear. No one would get injected back in the game Clark apologized. Lows in the chairs student news on call for his part of the game just. I'm a competitive guy and millions the moment there on December do it again did reach. You know I apologize and let them know that he knew anything wrong moves on me. Can you imagine that phone call. They minutes Kevin hall is an I just wanna say I'm sorry for calling your thing. You you know I'm a competitive guy and I'm in the wrong here on the other the film like that don't won't touch yeah. One. Why are you calling big that you saw George thanks. Does your iPhone does doodles then it's not like she's this don't you all attacks well. But all. All the challenge me on I was gonna as easy as surely I'm fine. What was that passed and president was up to it yeah. Firm based look. Taller identical to our own I think he birdied the. The line. Alas I put my phone yet must always listen to you guys know I. A bank held Texas is the reason I'm member Texas is the reason they were that's solid and Emo band before that's old school you know yeah like the real stuff. Not known for. I mean the nicest way but you know the real stuff that stream not the enough is enough to stop it came later not the Taking Back Sunday stodgy stuff before that right. I love Texas is really taxes you resent. I've not I mean I I do remember a couple songs he played a couple of your hard drive right. I'm sorry I listened to on the way and called there's no way I can talk myself out of this one tonight. It's. Well I guess on Texas is a reason Ben bella online play after blasting me like you were in the car driving and were I really about getting drunk tonight and and I was like I should talk when somebody gets drug drug there's no way I conduct myself an illusion as we're list I just had his visual viewer your car loans from serious visited texas' recent. The last thing I was a draw thought. So I like the I love Vampire Weekend and the song was as far as I know only on a soundtrack. And the nick and Norah soundtrack for a wage not that familiar with but it doesn't show up on Spotify. It it's it's hard to find basically and I had when I wanna listen to all have to bliss into her home in majors are so I finally bought the song on iTunes I think. In my life I've bought maybe two or three songs iTunes actually bought this one just like listen to in my car and this is Los analyst and to. And in chat. They need and that. Says. Okay. You can't. There you go. Less so well listen do you got another one for a slow emotional on the shelves what. Shouldn't or you know I did listen to. Lou read. New York City man like that song. Yeah and that I love that song Schnur cone dude does is put his last last song was develop our hero growing Bruno public. Always always admired you did you Girardi I'd say yes. It's. It's. It's. It's. You know the. Great mom. Question. Straightforward. You don't have to go all the thing. Dogs it and then they'd be yeah single and then. This is going to. Dreams then. And I'm saying he is in his mind. You want to be around here you each morning and you ran. Name any names then Q. I'll be gone. And intrigues you but he's still was being treated and it's pretty easy no. As the most news even. The deal with the. One night and the you mean voice. Okay. Video love it. Now. When your eyes a beyond but I got a sunny good Rosie got. I know she blasts things so I've moved obviously the vampire we can was the literal lesson nose into in the Wyndham before that. I did mine so my annual a listening to a narrow stairs that go all the way love. From beginning to end love that album so does pick one or random. I airlines are grown so gaga turns. You got one goes into okay. There's nothing good. You'll like we just talk about the strokes you got that book Ali Abdullah and oil in the bathroom just trying that author on the air you tell the let's organize a lot of the Monica. So there's only about a first. I did tab yeah I've got that that's so unless and until I went over to his house the couple days of reminded jurors outside I get it. So Millicent the strokes here but did the thing that was in the book they got everyone's attention was that there's this accusation that. Albert Hammond junior got hooked on heroin by Ryan Adams spurred which is just funny to hear. Out loud and they're back there interviewed in the individual and the look right over and the book comes out a cricket is in his early copy enlistment film and I always forget about New York City cops. You know the first mission we're on the right heart in it for our New York City Council it was some of that. This morning shower. And. Did you. Nice. You know did you see this story about the guy who was put to death I. I some in the newsroom this week because. They were talking about his last meal you know you get the last mile in his. Our memory it was it's. I really don't remember some sort of 5000 calorie meal he wanted to bunch of different things and I can have an appetite Reno you're about to die but this guy ordered much of food but. Now he's in the news today because. Music and respond yeah I am nervous stomach knowing about it. You'd think he'd be hungry knowing that you gave me to now be killed. Man I can't even each win someone telling you we were to get enough for our bosses taking you call me at 1 o'clock. Got a few things like talk but I can eat and tell. Them at a yeah. Those are sentenced Monday I don't know that I think to a belly looks much at all if he requested. Does subsidize my whole host. I. Let's see he had filet mignon wrapped in stake in the pepper Jack cheese large French Fries chain ten chicken tenders with sauce fried pork chops a blooming onion. Alligator they called Chile's in the garage out back like hey we view one Lebanon sent to the state and but comp I would penalize stream sharper and it's bright. And there's his last meal since yes well so now he's in the news because he's been put to death and he had these last words. And his last words quoted cool hand Luke so first of all this guy and his lawyer had requested. That he be executed by firing squad. I convicted murderer JW oh and as well. I think there's multiple guns but one guy doesn't have bullets went on dot yeah I think it's one guy and dozens others a chance that maybe you didn't shoot the I don't know because that usually once status of their gonna bring your background mostly done. Got to say something before he can get closer Saturday bitch he couldn't get relief Yuri couldn't get that firing squad they denied closer. They tonight at the bit to start dancing around that now they denied it this is the guy who. There's do you want it available the other night policy and now. Faces east added. You. And just now going to be guilty of what you say. Not you people Achilles heal and now. He was sentenced to death sharp. For stabbing an elderly neighbor to death when he was two point so we killed Downey's Tony stabbed his elderly neighbor who was the position that brought him into this world of hurt by the way it's a doctor at that was. It could well it's definitely I don't know. So they denied the debt by fire his answer I gave them lethal injection and asking if he had any last words have to be born son Mitch. And his last words war. And you probably recognizes what we have here is a failure to communicate. Some menu just can't reach I am not the failure you're the failure. And then his final thing apparently they say he was smiling according to witnesses he said you can kiss my white trash acts and. On Boone looked at. I don't know address passed yesterday is act that I like. This in my hands kiss my hands of white trash low light trance. Not happy again. And that is I was John undersized. All right so what would your last words being called out that's it just paid holidays and close or puts the a little closer. Tough guy. Still it's a Harley was abducted two steps short but you'll in my. I'd be exact opposite I don't even know like it's because I'd be crying and so much. There aren't a huge you. Probably yeah bawling like no idea glazed. Like oh that's there's a lot of begging. Remember that reset it but somebody better check to a wide. Lives that's that a box but it's wanna you. These.